Growing Confidence


Help your children develop an inner sense of achievement and pride by emphasizing their accomplishments, both the ones that come easily, and, especially, the ones that are difficult. Confidence grows by overcoming challenges. Stepping in too quickly is counterproductive if we want children to learn to trust and believe in themselves. 

If they are having a problem with a friend, ask a line of questions that will guide, but allow their brains to problem-solve on their own. “How do you feel about what happened?” “Could you have done anything differently?” “What do you think you should do to move through this?”

When your child asks for help with a task and you think he/she can do it, say “Keep trying. You’ve got this. I’ll help in a minute if you still need me.” Encourage and allow for trial and error. If they work through the challenge on their own, compliment them authentically and specifically. Be wary of showering them with too much praise. If we praise every little thing they do, our compliments will lose their power to motivate. Children are brilliant and can sniff out insincerity a mile away. Instead, encourage your children to lift their heads up and feel proud as they develop an “I can do it!” attitude.

That’s where confidence lives.